We have all seen a fairy tale with either a delicate fairy or an evil witch casting spells. Spells that are woven with words.
Our words carry energy and have the power to shape our emotions and our relationships. The way we tell a story impacts our audience. The ancient Egyptians are even said to have believed that all words contain magic.
If this is so, let’s consider how you are talking to yourself, and others, about you and your world? Are you uttering blessings or curses? How are you painting the picture of you in the story of your life? What light are you casting your character in?
If we are constantly self-diminishing, as well as critical of the world around us, we find ourselves in a state of ‘not-good-enoughness’. A sure-fire way to become stressed and frustrated. Because our attention is focussed on I am not the way I should be; and the world isn’t the way it should be.
A solution to this problem is not necessarily to practise positive thinking all the time. To be honest, some things are just too horrid to be positive about. And, anyway, being positive all the time requires a kind of denial of reality.
However, there is real value in striving for language that is self-honouring and affirming. This means that one can verbally ‘underline’ the factual and observable positives and seek to eliminate words and language that carry a negative connotation implying weakness or inadequacy in some way.
There is a world of emotional difference between saying: ’I will try to fix this mess’ and ‘I am now taking charge of this situation’: or “My day was totally spoilt by the bad traffic on the road’ and ‘The morning started out with a traffic challenge and nevertheless the rest of the day was great.’
Language indicates our focus. So the idea is to focus on, or include, the things that went well as well.
How can you reword daily events to make them more self-affirming?
We can easily go into a self-critical drama about things that did not get done on our ‘To-Do List’. How about making a ‘Done List’ at the end of the day and making space for acknowledging your everyday victories and achievements?
Again the emphasis is on what you choose to focus on. In this instance, you are challenging yourself to focus on what you did achieve instead of what you didn’t achieve.
The challenge is to find the good, the right and the beautiful in yourself every day and to find words to express them, despite the difficulties and obstacles you may be facing.
More often than not, the quality of our self-talk shapes how we speak to others as well. The energy we bring to our attitudes and orientations, to ourselves and our world, is spread around and becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Once you’ve become aware of how you talk to yourself, and what your internal dialogue is, you will be able to place the same focus on the words and energy you chose to direct into other people’s lives.
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