Who to be in crisis
The arrival of COVID-19 has seen our world become an uncertain, complex place.
Overnight our life stressors changed. All our schedules, planning and budgeting flew out the window when Corona blew into town.
read moreOptions for you in this time of Crisis
Of late, there have been a great many difficult circumstances facing us collectively: the economy, unstable politics, load shedding, climate change, insecurity in terms of jobs and the future. And now, a much larger crisis: a declared state of emergency because of the Covid 19 virus; which seems to be highly infectious. In some sense, it’s a good thing that we have a defined crisis, but if you really look at this over a period of time, I think it is fair to say that many of us have been in a form of crisis-mode for quite some time....
read moreGoals and Intentions: A Supportive Guide To Surviving Your New Year’s Resolutions – Part 3
This is the third part of a series of posts. See Part One here and Part Two here. Remembering your intentions can help you reconnect with yourself when life throws you curveballs and crises. This helps you to not only think about what needs to be done but also the spirit in which you are going to do it. Instead of your focus only being on achieving your goal, checking in on the intentions you set for yourself allows you to check in with yourself and assess how you are doing. This means when you are dealing with an unexpected event, obstacle...
read moreGoals and Intentions: A Supportive Guide To Surviving Your New Year’s Resolutions – Part 2
This is the second part of a series of posts. See Part One here. Through the skilful cultivation of intention, you learn to make goals that are important to you and how to work hard toward achieving them. Intentions are the road maps to goals. The goal is the destination, but intentions speak to the route you’re going to take towards it. How you are going to go about reaching your destination. Intentions marry your purpose,- why this is important to you – with your target. Intentions are about who you are – they are...
read moreGoals and Intentions: A Supportive Guide To Surviving Your New Year’s Resolutions – Part 1
Here we are at the beginning of a New Year. A time where, traditionally, we set goals for the year that lies ahead. We often think of success in terms of things that can be externally measured and demonstrated. We judge ourselves – and by extension others – on what we do, how busy we are and how much we own and achieve. There is no shortage of expert advice on how to set goals, do more and have more. But we rarely ask how these goals and visions align with our true inner being. We experience life from the inside out, but we...
read moreThe Pressure of Striving to be Perfect when Standards are Contradictory – Part 2
This is the second part of a series of posts. See Part One here. When one is in authentic self, one claims one’s life – becomes the author of one’s own way of being – claiming one’s strengths and weaknesses, one’s own needs and vulnerabilities, one’s own understanding of what is good and wholesome for yourself. From this position of self, the next step is to give yourself permission to be wisely discerning. From here you don’t have to be extreme anything, total anything, perfect anything, fanatical anything. From here you can think, consider...
read moreThe Pressure of Striving to be Perfect when Standards are Contradictory – Part 1
Most of us wake up every morning wanting to be the best versions of ourselves, but by about 9 am we have lost the plot and are drowning under waves of franticness, feeling overwhelmed and pulled in every direction. Paradox and perfection relate to those thoughts, ideas, ideals and standards that we try to live up to that are often contradictory yet perfectionistic; that, in my opinion, just make us plain crazy. Perhaps the first thing we can ask ourselves is: ‘How am I defining success and who is setting the standard?’ And boy, are there a...
read moreBoundaries of Acceptable Behaviour
How much is enough? Where is the boundary of acceptable behaviour? These questions particularly relate to relationship issues; where someone is behaving in a difficult and challenging way. Seems to me that in close and intimate family relationships we seem to give ourselves permission to behave much worse than we’d allow ourselves to behave publically. But ask yourself why do you give yourself permission to behave really badly in relationships which should be your most important relationships? Would you treat your colleagues in the same way...
read moreChanging your self-talk will change your life
We have all seen a fairy tale with either a delicate fairy or an evil witch casting spells. Spells that are woven with words. Our words carry energy and have the power to shape our emotions and our relationships. The way we tell a story impacts our audience. The ancient Egyptians are even said to have believed that all words contain magic. If this is so, let’s consider how you are talking to yourself, and others, about you and your world? Are you uttering blessings or curses? How are you painting the picture of you in the story of your life?...
read moreThe Craft of Great Communication – Style Is Important
This is the third part of a series of posts. See Part One here and Part Two here. One of the best ways to improve your communication is to look at how the style of your communication can create defensiveness (which is unproductive) or a sense of supportiveness; which is productive and moves the communication towards a resolution or bond or common purpose. The type of talk that generally proves destructive, and sets up defensive reactions in the listener, is talk that is evaluative, controlling, strategic, indifferent, superior, and certain....
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