The Craft of Great Communication – What You Intend Isn’t Nearly As Important As What The Person Hears
This is the second part of a series of posts. See Part One here. There’s an old saying that goes: We judge ourselves by our intentions, and we judge others by their results. You judge them by the impact their words have on you, and NOT their intent because you don’t know their intent. What that means is that it doesn’t matter what you intend, or what you mean, as much as it matters what results you create. If you say something offensive, even if your heart is full of loving, positive thoughts and feelings, it still comes across as offensive...
read moreThe Craft of Great Communication – An Overview of Your World View
We weave our realities with the words we use. Words are what help us to work together and achieve together. Words are the invisible threads that help us connect with others, to share our thoughts, feelings and intentions. But how we choose to use our words is a crucial issue. We can use words to destroy or we can use words to create. We can create a world that reflects positive engagement or we can create a world of difficulties with our relationships, work and emotions. To a large extent how we choose to communicate has a great deal to do...
read moreAcceptance Can Trigger Change
Waiting for everything to be is as it ‘should be’, steals one’s ability to come up with creative solutions. Forgiveness means releasing the power outside agencies have over us by allowing them to be as they are.
read moreChange and Authenticity
As a Life Coach, I have realised the importance of how we construct meaning and how two people can use the same word but mean completely different things. In a session with a client some time ago, I sensed him resisting any ideas on change. This was despite him being in considerable emotional distress and wanting to find better coping mechanisms. After trying several angles to encourage change, without success, I asked him about his resistance to making any adjustments to his views or behaviours. Which is when I discovered that he viewed the...
read moreSterk emosies kan oorweldigend word
Kommunikasie vaardighede is uiters belangrik want dit skep die geleentheid vir samesyn en verhouding. In Suid-Afirka plaas ons ‘n baie hoë waarde op selfstandigheid en ons is dikwels te skaam of te trots om aan ons eie swaarkry uiting te gee. Ons vra nie maklik vir hulp nie. Woede en kritiek kom makliker as om oor ons eie kwesbaarheid te praat. Ek praat nie van jou kop af kla nie. Ek praat van konstruktiewe geprekke oor ons uitdagings waar on saam oplossings soek. As dinge te swaar raak, gaan soek iemand om meet te praat. Daar is...
read moreChange vs Consistency
Change becomes especially difficult when our foundation beliefs prevent us from changing. When we start thinking about personal growth and development we start thinking about change. Then we start thinking about how hard it is to change. There are many reasons why change is hard for us, and one of the obstacles can be the contradictions in our thinking around change and consistency. It is, therefore, worth looking at the messages we grow up with culturally that tell us to be consistent, predictable and reliable. These messages can operate as...
read moreIs positiewe sielkunde genoeg om die lewe to hanteer?
In die wereld van positiewe sielkunde is studies van standvastigheid gedoen en die volgende eienskappe is geidentifiseer wat help met die vermoe om sterk genoeg te wees om die lewe te hanteer. Die kapasiteit om realistiese planne te maak en uit te voer‘n Positiewe beskouing van jouself – vertoue in jou sterk punte en vermoeënsKommunikasievaardighede en probleemoplossingsvaardighedeDie kapasiteit om sterk emosies en impulse te hanteer Die vermoë om realistiese planne te maak is gefundeer op die gewilligheid om die realiteit te kan...
read moreHoe oorleef mens sielkundig te midde van die negatiwiteit en probleme?
In Suid Afrika praat ons met groot gemak oor alles wat verkeerd loop. Die nuusgebeure van die dag voed hierdie vloed van negatiwiteit en vrees. Die probleem is dat negatiewe inligting en opinies baie maklik bekombaar is, en deur die elektroniese media ‘n lewe van hul eie kry. Dis baie meer waarskynlik om van slegte gebeure te hoor as om berigte of sosiale mediaplasings te sien oor die alledaagse goeie dinge. Die stroom van negatiwiteit kan mens maklik meesleur. As mens jou bloot laat lei deur wat in die media, gerugte en plaaslike oorlewering...
read moreIn Search of Balance
Balance is essentially a very dynamic ongoing process. Too often we strive for stasis. But stasis is sterile; it means that we have come to a stop – that no growth or change is happening.
read moreWhat is acceptance really?
Acceptance clearly does not need to mean the same as being passive. It simply means that I can save myself the energy expenditure on futile emotion and use my energy to find alternative options.
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